BOOKS… Mad About the Boy by Helen Fielding (2013)

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Mad (read annoyed) about the third Bridget Jones book…

 

The book adventures of Bridget Jones, a diary writer and now a mother of two but with a twist.

 

Bridget Jones

Helen Fielding Reading Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy, Stylist Magazine AND PHOTOS © Miramax Films and Universal Pictures

 

For a welcome change, Finnish TV is not doing its usual yearly Rick Roll of films in its TV schedule. Tonight, it’s X-Men: First Class (2011) on the telly as background noise while Darlin Husband works. So in the bid to try something different – read not annoy Darlin Husband with questions about who’s who – as I don’t know the X-Men that well (apart from Hugh Jackman) it’s time for a wee book review.

Just reading the title of this review, some readers will sob in despair as a review of this movie is not in the offing. But to be honest, the youngest stepdude knows more about these superheroes than me. So, I am saving my first comic book film review until he’s here to help me out so I get the facts right.

Instead, I will launch into my review of Helen Fielding’s book, Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy. This features the heroine of the book or the future possible musical (please don’t) and of course now the big screen, Ms Bridget Jones. The book was published in 2013.

It tells how the widowed Bridget joins the Cougar Club after she lands herself a toy boy. Before you scream in despair about Darcy’s apparent demise – as many women did on the internet – this fact has been mentioned on the dust cover.

When I first met Bridget Jones, I too was a sad singleton who watched romantic comedies without being cynical. I sobbed at Love Actually (2003) and vowed to find true love by the following Christmas with a fellow singleton. Then I fell asleep on a girly trip to Bride Wars (2009) – if you’ve seen this movie you’ll understand – and got disowned publicly by the same viewing companion for never watching an episode of Sex in the City.

Coincidentally, this was just after I met Darlin Husband. I had by this point spotted the now tired rom-com formula (which makes me yawn just thinking about it). This tried and tested formula is used by too many a film, and tells of boy meets girl, cue soppy montages, as boy loves girl then boy loses girl then… boy gets girl back at the end of the movie, cue sleep at some point during this.

Not surprisingly I then got cynical about these contrived, girly romantic comedy films – with girl anthems on the soundtrack, joined-up writing credits, bland leading men etc etc –  and discovered that bromances were much funnier and more enjoyable. Thanks mainly to Paul Rudd.

Initially, Bridget Jones movies had given us then 30-somethings a wee bit of hope. This with Bridget Jones’ Diary which stressed that one day we would meet our equivalent of Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) and Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant). At the same time. That these two incredibly successful, good-looking men would fight over us. That we too would get snogged by one of them so passionately we could feel it in our boots. That he’d love us just the way we are and kiss us in the snow.

The film sequel, Bridget Jones : For No Apparent Reason The Edge of Reason then continued these themes, right down to the same men – and actors – fighting over her (yawn). I am sure many of us hoped the third book would then lead us to Bridget’s wedding to Mark Darcy. Bridget’s babies with Mark Darcy. Followed by Bridget’s happy ever after in suburbia with Mark Darcy. Did it? No, because all this was done and dusted before you read this book.

However, instead, it killed off Darcy which worked out badly in the long term for a potential trilogy. I read Colin Firth was keen on doing a third film, but Hugh Grant walked out. But hey that’s Hollywood! It’s reported Fielding continued Bridget’s story in the press. But then some of these storylines had to be changed in this book.

So like apparently like many women out there, I felt a wee bit cheated. It was like seeing a friend you haven’t seen in ages. After meeting her randomly, in time you fall out with her because when you last saw her she was fun and unfashionable. Now she is into Prada and is telling you off for not replacing your make-up brushes regularly.

When I started the book, I was hoping to hear Renee Zellweger doing her best Bridget themed British accent as she narrated in my head. Obviously, Morgan Freeman would be too weird. Bridget is now a widow with two small children. She is also 50 plus, which frustrated me as she used to be nearer my age. She is Mark Darcy’s widow and she misses him.

We missed him too, we also missed Daniel Cleaver. Cleaver does appear in the book and he starts being his familiar, caddish self but then ends up quite a sad and pathetic character. It was a really quite depressing book. Also, Cleaver is godfather to Bridget’s kids. So it seems – in between books – we missed a bromance between him and Mark, which would probably have made for a funnier book than this one. (I really didn’t like this book).

Bridget is working on writing a screenplay which inevitably leads to lots of Bridget-type mishaps. She also – after much prompting – met a new man as in the book real time she met her future toyboy, Roxster. For some reason, I kept reading his name as Rooster. He suddenly seemed less interesting when I realised this fact.

He’s about 20 years younger than her and she meets him through the internet. Sadly not on a dating site which would have been a much more amusing (albeit clichéd) plot. So had this happened we could have had a “fun” montage of this in the film version, starring every British actor who starred in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and with a few other random thespians such as Roger Allam and Alan Rickman. Then she would have ended up with the now grown-up Nicholas Hoult.

Anyway, despite these spoilers, I’m not going to tell you Bridget’s fate. But I will tell you it’s predictable, contrived and boring. More recently, and to complicate issues, I have read that Helen Fielding has decided that perhaps Mark Darcy should come back from the dead. This was just like the powers that be did with Bobby Ewing from Dallas. Let’s just hope Mark’s not in the shower.

 

Weeper Rating:  0/10

Handsqueeze Rating:  0 /10

Hulk rating: ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ /10