Main Features No 16
Five Reasons to elope … Plot, Spoilers and Practical Advice.
Comedy about bridesmaids rivalry with Kristen Wiig , one for the girls.
Bridesmaids trailer, Universal Pictures, http://www.youtube.com and photographs © Universal Pictures
You met Him, the love of your life. You dated, met His parents, He met yours.. your father likes Him because He makes you happy…your mother adores Him. You moved in together and now He‘s done it, He‘s gone down on one knee – or not – and asked you if you want to be with Him forever as His wife, inside you have been waiting for this moment ever since you were wee and you know He‘s the one…..so you squeak out a yes. Then as only girls will truly understand, it’s the major dilemma who and how many bridesmaids to have. What to wear and…. who won’t be offended. And whether family members are really the “safest” option…
It’s easier for men, a best man can be his brother, your brother or his best friend since university. You as a girl, meanwhile have approximately 100 Facebook friends, 2 sisters and his 3 sisters, your female cousins and the numerous rash childhood and possibly drunken promises you feel duty bound to keep to choose from. This is why you should elope, if you want further reasons watch Bridesmaids (2011). Can you really put your female friends and family members through this much torture..and these numbers haven’t even reflected your male best friends, let alone your boss’s wife or children…or the family pets.
Today I’m reviewing Bridesmaids (2011), this stars Kristen Wiig as Annie. Wiig also helped write the screenplay and I’m sure she had some input in the casting too as the first scenes involve her in the enviable position or positions of simulating making love with Ted. Ted is played with Don Draper caddishness, played by thinking woman’s crumpet – who a Yorkshire friend would like to have served up on a butty – the delicious, and shirtless for most of his appearances (thanks Kristen)… Jon Hamm. Turns out that Ted uses her as a booty call when his number 1 and number 2 are unavailable. We then see Annie’s friendship with best friend, Lilian (Maya Randolph). It is revealed that Annie used to own a bakery and the business failed and she now lives with her flatmate Gil (a surprise Matt Lucas cameo) and his sister, Brynn. Annie now works in a jewelers where she must muster up enthusiasm that love is eternal daily, a job she finds difficult as studmuffin, Ted just wants her as a fuck buddy.
Lilian and Annie have been best friends since childhood and then at one girly get together Lilian announces she is engaged. This leads to a lot of girly squealing, but please note guys all girls do this. Darlin’ husband turned and asked me if “I turned into a loading ZX Spectrum” when I told my friends we’d got engaged, which I confessed to. I also turned into a demented hamster, when a friend told me she was having a baby a few years ago. But even the most hardened of women and more cynical of romantics get excited about these matters. Fact.
Lillian asks Annie to be her maid of honour along with four other women, including a sister-in-law to be Megan (Melissa McCarthy), a friend, a cousin and her future husband bosses’ wife, Helen (Rose Byrne). You can go to the loo when the cousin and redhead are on-screen as they aren’t really important to the plot. However, this choice of bridesmaids is excellent as it covers all bases as you don’t offend that many people. But it can be a difficult choice if you have sisters, have numerous female cousins and numerous sisters in law to be and about 5 or 6 friends who previously made you their bridesmaid and you would feel guilty if you didn’t ask….
Annie dislikes Helen on sight, and Helen appears to be Annie’s nemesis. Helen is pretty, stylish, says the right thing, does the right thing, is rich and this combination means she is Annie’s nightmare. Instant dislike between women, men will report is a common trait and many women I know do this. They do actively find themselves immediately trying to hate the Karen Gillans of this world, by finding something wrong with them. For example, if Karen were on their potential bridesmaid list they would discount her as her hands are too big and her hair would clash with the pink roses in their bouquet… it wouldn’t be as she’s pretty and has the longest legs ever…
Annie then organises a lunch for the bride and bridesmaids to be at a local dive of a Brazilian restaurant preceding getting their dresses, after her Parisian bridal shower theme is dismissed by Helen and then the others. The girls choose different dresses in accordance with their hair colouring, body size and bank balance. And then all bar Helen – who chose not to eat – exhibit the grimmest of all food poisoning symptoms, so now you know what Melissa McCarthy looks like on the toilet or the sink. If she’s really desperate. Around this time Annie meets friendly, sweet and just lovely cop with a heart Officer Rhodes with an Irish accent on par with Neeson’s (Chris O’Dowd), what’s not to like. Unless you still hoping for Jon Hamm which our heroine is. Fool. Rhodes is wittier and definitely more fun. Rhodes stops her car and in between some flirting and obvious chemistry, he tells her off for not fixing her rear lights of her car.
The bridesmaids head for Vegas – in a slow-motion homage to the Hangover films – taking up Helen’s suggestion for the Hen Night over Annie’s of Lilian’s family lake house. Annie accepts a sedative from Helen due to her flying fear and then makes a scene on the plane. The girls then head home by coach, and Lilian delegates Annie’s wedding duties to Helen saying it’s stressing Annie out. Meanwhile after seeking out his company, Annie has a fun date with Rhodes after which they make love. He shows his love and commitment with a cappuccino and inviting her to bake with him, and not throwing her out as she is used to with Ted. Rhodes is a nice and supportive fella, but his commitment and encouragement to make her bake again freaks Annie out. After she is involved in an accident once again and asks for Ted’s support, Rhodes gives up on her. Ted shows his true colours and leaves after Annie does not respond to his sexual needs right away. Annie then falls out with Lilian after Helen upstages her with a Parisian themed bridal shower, an idea that was originally Annie’s idea. Annie responds to this situation badly and is asked to leave the wedding shower and not come to the wedding by her best friend.
Annie then loses her job, home and potential for a decent bloke in one full sweep. She moves in with her mother then is given a kick up the arse by Megan to show some spirit. Annie then to rectify things by making Rhodes a cake to apologise. After Lilian goes missing – Hangover film plot anyone? – before the wedding, she and Helen team up to find her and after some animosity they become friends. She then talks to Rhodes about their predicament – after trying to get his attention in numerous ways by breaking the law using her car – and he then traces Lilian to her flat and Annie and Lilian reconcile.
This best friends comedy seems to act out the clichéd romantic comedy but as a girl likes girl, girl likes girl, girls fall out and girls make up movie. It then cuts to the wedding where the vows are made and then girl band Wilson Philips sing – more shades of the Hangover films here – and the three girls are now friends. And then Rhodes appears with his cop car and Annie gets her man and he whisks her off…..after a big soppy sloppy snog. And no I didn’t sob.
So girls this is why you should be actively encouraging your love to elope, you don’t have the headache of choosing what is probably the second most important decision of your adult life as it may come back and haunt you. So when choosing think… who has been there for you since childhood, who has been with you no matter what, who has held you when you cried over the object of your affections at school, who was your best friend at nursery, kindergarten, primary school, secondary school and university -these promises are NOT binding -, who put you up after you fell out with him for the night, who was there when your dog/cat/budgie died when you were 10 and then discount all these women and then pick your 7 year old niece because you are on the wee side and everyone else will just look like henchmen no matter what build they are.
Or do as I did and elope, you only need to coordinate flowers with you, you can choose the frock without worrying about if you can get bridesmaids frocks to match and most importantly not have to spend the entire run up to or the day of your wedding trying to sort out a bridesmaids fallout which will due to the stress, dresses and arrangements involved have the increasing probability to happen when you least want it to. Best of all, you can spend all day snogging your husband, holding his hand all day, doing things only you want to do and spend all day with him. After all. He is who your wedding day is about. Isn’t He?
Weeper Rating: 😦 😦 /10
Handsqueeze Rating:: 🙂 /10
Hulk Rating: /10
Bonus Trailer: Yes
Bridesmaids – Trailer 2, Universal Pictures, http://www.youtube.com