FILMS… Never Too Young to Die (1986) and Picking a Tag Especially For You.

#1980s #2020s #AllPosts

 

Never too late to movie tag and my post on a one time Bond with a film from 1986…

 

Tagging more than a few of you lovely lot of entertainment bloggers with a wee movie request.

 

Never to Young to Die (1986)

Never Too Young to Die (1986)

 

More than a month ago I was tagged by the always lovely Rebecca at Taking Up Room in a movie-themed tag, the Pick My Review tag HERE. For this tag, I have the power to ask as many people as I want to review a specific movie, or a movie star, year or genre and then in theory the tag goes on and on. And if you are looking for my review of Never Too Young to Die (1986) scroll now… or read all about the tag.

 

And here are the rules… (as cut and pasted from Rebecca’s post…)

How it works is very simple:

• Nominate one or more people to review the film or films of your choice. Or you can request they review something from a certain year, genre, or star. Everyone can review the same thing, or you can request each person cover something different. As long as it’s something they haven’t written about yet, you’re good.

• Nominees are allowed to request a different pick for whatever reason no more than five times. Stuff happens. We all know it.

• Nominees must thank the person who nominated them and provide a link their blog.

• Nominees may nominate others to keep the tag going. Picking the person who nominated them is allowed, or they can nominate someone else. Maybe both.

• All participants need to include these rules in their post, whether they’re nominees or picking nominees.

• All participants should use the “Pick My Movie” banner or something similar in their posts.

• Have fun!

 

I’d like to thank Rebecca for nominating me and Rebecca’s blog, Taking Up Room can be found HERE. The movie she gave me was Yesterday (2019), which sounded interesting in theory but I had to turn it down after I saw the trailer as it wasn’t really my thing.

So instead Rebecca, suggested a year… so it’s back to 1986 and a post on Never Too Young to Die. And it stars Freddie Krueger ie Robert Englund as an evil dude’s henchman and a one time Bond, George Lazenby. My claim to fame is I nearly met them both at the same Comic-Con HERE.

 

Never Too Young to Die (1986)

 

George Lazenby

Never Too Young to Die 1986 Trailer | John Stamos | Vanity, Trailer Chan

 

Never Too Young to Die (1986), screams the 1980s from the start to finish of this movie, with a mulleted leading man to a sax soundtrack in the more romantic scenes. The film, in a nutshell, tells of John Stamos as a young gymnast Lance Stargrove who seeks revenge after his father’s untimely death.

In the opening scenes, we see Lance’s father, Drew Stargrove (George Lazenby) in some action-packed shooting scenes. Drew totally decimates the bad guys – but then he is the man formerly known as James Bond – but is finally surrounded by some scary looking punk dudes. He is then killed by a hermaphrodite (this fact is plot-relevant), Velvet von Ragnar (Gene Simmons) who is after a computer disc that he had in his possession.

Von Ragnar plans to get this disc so that he can poison the water supply forever. Mhaaahahah! And then kill Lance and his father Drew’s partner, Danja Deering (Vanity). Mhaaahahah!. Lance learns that his father was a secret agent and then plans revenge on Von Ragnar. Obviously, Lance hooks up with this girl in more ways than one. There are uncountable car chases, explosions, gun scenes and non-stop thrills of all kinds. And more on this film can be found in the usual ways…

This film plot was totally bat shit crazy, in a fun way. The cast was delightfully chosen, and in a natty piece of casting, it included the man who played James Bond. George Lazenby… yes George Lazenby starred in those opening scenes as Lance’s secret agent father. Here he proves that he really could have added more to the James Bond franchise and that there was so much he could have done in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969). It was a nice wee homage to this franchise, but nobody could have done it better.

Lazenby then proved he could do a franchise with a plethora of appearances in TV Movies about Emmanuelle in 1993. He also starred as another paternal figure as Jor-El in Superboy (1990)  for two episodes and an episode for the revamped ie colour Alfred Hitchcock Presents TV series in an episode called Diamonds Aren’t Forever (1989).  And tune in one day for a review of him- if I can find it – with David McCullum and Robert Vaughn in The Return of the Man from U.N.C.L.E.: The Fifteen Years Later Affair (1983) as J.B.  This TV movie also starred Patrick McNee.

Gene Simmons as Velvet von Ragnar gives his all in this role as a villain / villainess and is mesmerisingly evil. If you thought Simmons was screen stealing as the bad guy in Runaway (1984), here in this film he is at a new level. He often dresses in some outfits that were possibly inspired by Cher’s frock at the 1986 Oscars and other even more vampy creations. And do keep your eyes peeled for Robert Englund – as one of his henchmen.

Finally, Stamos and Vanity… Vanity was a really enjoyable kick-ass kinda girl who could defend herself. Vanity was definitely not the annoying Rey Skywalker (?) kind of leading lady. But Stamos, well, for him it’s just a shame this film bombed and it wasn’t made into the planned film series. He’s got the moves and presence of Jean Claude Van Damme, also in a good way.

In this series, there could have been a wee role for Lazenby to star as a hologram – similar to Dean Stockwell’s sidekick role in Quantum Leap (1989-93) – as his father and mentor. Here he could give his on-screen son advice from the grave and then he pairs up with his son to fight crime. And Stamos, he would have been Stargrove, Lance Stargrove in a “Son of Bond” film franchise. With his leading role as this son of a big gun…

 

So now for my nominations…

Film Authority… a film from the late 1970s

Pfeiffer Pfilms and Meg Movies… A film with two female leads that he would recast Meg Ryan and Michelle Pfeiffer in…

Stabford Deathrage Shoots his Mouth Off… A Guilty Pleasure from the 1980s

Thoughts All Sorts... a Brat Pack Movie

18 Cinema Lane… A list of must-watch Hallmark film star biopics

Silver Screenings... Something I’ve reviewed that you haven’t so we can compare notes on the more amusing aspects.

Emma K Wall (Explains it All)… a movie starring Christopher Walken just because…

Angelman’s Place… A 1970s disaster film

Starfire Lounge… His Top 5 Favourite Leading Ladies

and my blogathon co-host, Pale Writer a list of your choices of your top five film or TV (or both) hotties and why…

Finally going to tag anyone else who wants to join in, if you comment here, I’ll give you a subject… So looking forward to reading your posts and remember to tag me so I can check out those replies… Thanks to those sterling volunteers.

John L Harmon… a musical film starring someone who usually doesn’t star in this genre. 

Taking Up Room… Her thoughts on The Beautician and the Beast (1997)…

 

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My You Knew My Name: The Bond Not Bond Blogathon 2021

This film was added to Pale Writer‘s and my You Knew My Name: The Bond Not Bond Blogathon. Other reviews here with this cast include George Lazenby in Hotel and in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Robert Englund in Charlie’s Angels and Hart to Hart. Gene Simmons in Detroit Rock City and Family Guy. John Stamos in Tales from the Crypt.

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