Bursting the Dynasty Soap Bubble…
TV Heaven or Hell, you decide in a TV movie which is a tells the story about the making of Dallas‘s rival soap Dynasty.
ZA KULISAMI DYNASTII Dynasty Behind the Scenes 2004 LEKTOR, Mari Castillo
So with all my Dallas (1978-91) references, you will now understand why Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure (2005) is a guilty pleasure.. Firstly its about it’s then rival Dynasty of which I was also an avid viewer – but not as obsessed – and secondly its a really bad TV movie.
However, if you include the Sound of Music (1965) in your list of guilty pleasures,
Kurt Frederich aka Nicholas Hammond plays Aaron Spelling to give you three reasons. But like me, you will probably be drawn in to this total train wreck of a movie from start to finish as its strangely watchable and addictable.
Not for the performances which it which are enthusiastic from the lesser known stars as they get to play an actor or actress playing a 1980s soap character in a double whammy. But for the a million and one ways in which we meet and are introduced to the film characters of Joan Collins and the rest of the Dynasty cast just for those of us who didn’t recognise them from their hair or outfits from the show as tbh that’s all that will remind you of them.
This film firstly introduces us to the writers in the show played by the recognisable supporting star of Kindergarten Cop (1990), Pamela Reed – who played Arnie Schwarzenegger sidekick as Esther Shapiro who created series with her husband,. The husband, Richard as Dynasty’s writer is a likeable man played by Ritchie Singer.
They pitch their idea to
Spiderman Kurt Frederich Aaron Spelling (Hammond) the famous TV producer of the 1980s of everything from The Love Boat (1977-87) to Hart to Hart (1979) to Charlie’s Angels (1976-81) – any I’ve not said are listed in the film as Spelling points them out to his wife ad nauseam in this movie. Following this is a fans only zone as we are introduced some of the actors and actresses of Dynasty with a mini bio first before we get the reveal of an actor or actress who looks as much like them as I do with Mila Kunis (ie sadly not one iota).
As for the bio, I’m sure the writer of this movie merely consulted imdb’s facts page on Dynasty to glean all the information they needed. So as it’s more fun, I’ll let you guess who is who before you get told to make this film more interesting. I will tell you however about “Heather Locklear”‘s appearance as it’s probably one of the most amusing, we are introduced to “Locklear” (Holly Brisley) in her Daisy Duke shorts leaning over a car Megan Foxy style with a raised eyebrow from “John Forsyth” (Bartholomew John). Locklear turns round who sadly for you guys out there wasn’t the real McCoy as the actress who looked more like a demented chipmunk (to me anyway but I’m sure the male population watching this would disagree).
A further example of this could have been, the Shapiros discussing the Fallon role, “Do you think Pamela Sue Martin would be right for the part of Fallon?” ponders husband with his wife saying “Well she’s been starring as Nancy Drew recently but I don’t know if she would be recognised from her time in The Poseidon Adventure as to be fair she was only x years old then”. Cue Fallon “lookalike”.
We are also subjected to watching how the cast, storyline and Dynasty‘s audience were faring throughout the various seasons. The storyline about the TV series shows and talks about the more talked about storylines such as the extremes between the first series with Stephen being one of the first openly gay characters on prime time telly to the diabolical the Moldavian wedding massacre storyline. The audience is seen from the viewpoint of a hillbilly type with young wife and some Joan Collins and Linda Evans attired transvestites in a bar.
The ending scenes however are hysterical as we have a what happened to the cast post Dynasty montage and we are shown Collins returning to London as she misses the rain (as all expat do. a friend confirmed it does rain in the US), Linda Evans falling in love (aaaaw) and John Forsythe playing tennis.
Anyway, to sum up if you are going to make a film about an established cast playing well-known characters, I feel I should make it Krystal – clear this should only be done if proper lookalikes are judged as an accurate lookalike first by a panel of die-hard fans and if they scream “Good ‘Evans is that supposed to be Linda” when the actress trying for the part of Mrs Carrington the second appears, you know they’re a no go.
Weeper Rating: 😦 /10
Handsqueeze Rating: 🙂 🙂 🙂 /10
Hulk Rating: /10
This film was added to Maddie loves her Classic Films’ Small Screen blogathon. Reviews with this cast include Pamela Reed in my upcoming and Eli Stone. Nicholas Hammond stars in The Sound of Music (1965), Murder She Wrote, Dallas, Magnum PI and The Love Boat .