TV… Rex Harrison Presents Stories of Love (1974)

#1970s #AllPosts

 

Agnes Moorehead’s (très) adorable performance as the grande dame of the Television Movie…

 

A TV Movie anthology of a series that should have been with some 1970s favourite stars.

 

Rex Harrison Presents Stories of Love (1974), Chris Johnson and photos © nbc

 

On first putting the actress, Agnes Moorehead’s name to her face many years ago, I believed I’d (sadly) seen very little of her on-screen work. When I was young, I knew her from the Christmas regular TV airing of Pollyanna (1960). Or as Endora, the witchy and meddlesome mother to Samantha in the TV comedy series, Bewitched (1964-72).

Agnes Moorehead was heard but not seen – again usually at Christmas – as the friendly goose in the charming cartoon musical version of Charlotte’s Web (1973). This 1970s kid’s cartoon movie has a recognisable cast list including Debbie Reynolds and Martha Scott. This much better movie was made long before some eejit remade this sweet children’s story, a live action film with a CGI spider as Charlotte.

Most recently, I discovered Moorehead, in a pivotal role as a physiotherapist (I kid you not) in Night of Terror (1972). In this TV Movie, her character taught Martin Balsam’s cop how to give a foot rub to the prime witness to a murder, Donna Mills (in what could be Tarantino’s dream job). Surprisingly, this foot rub is plot pertinent – and seen way too much – throughout this TV Movie.

Reading through Moorehead’s filmography, there are now so many must watch and must review movies from her five decades on screen. These include All That Heaven Allows (1953) alongside a dreamy Rock Hudson, Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte (1964) with Bette Davis and What’s the Matter with Helen?  (1971) co-starring Shelley Winters.

For today’s review, Agnes joins a cast of familiar names in a romantic anthology TV Movie. This failed pilot was for a series, Rex Harrison Presents Stories of Love (1974). Agnes had previously made a film anthology in the romantic genre in 1953’s The Story of Three Loves. This however was a film that actually happened.

In Rex Harrison Presents Stories of Love, she’s seen and heard in the third of these stand alone segments. Agnes Moorehead plays a (criminally) unnamed character, Hercule’s Wife. After reading Hercule was played by Battlestar Galactica‘s Lorne Greene and they both – and their on-screen daughter – adopt bloody fantastic French accents, I knew instinctively this was one to watch.

This thought was also reinforced after reading the cast, director and original writers’ names for all 3 stories…

 

After the 1950s style melodrama themed music and titles the premise of this sadly never serialised anthology is masterfully described by the host actor. Watching Harrison’s sterling intro, Darlin Husband was reminded of Orson Welles’ Great Mysteries (1973-74) –  with what we believe the mystery was as to why as this series was filmed in Norwich – type presentation about this anthology.

This opening monologue in this film is distinctly less / more glamorous (delete as applicable) and from Oscar winning actor, Rex Harrison in a suit and looking like he’s been abducted from a random real life situation where a suit was required.

Harrison is accompanied on set by two huge gold heads and what looks like a grey building. But the latter is later revealed as the “face” of a ye olde imagined computer (which you can kind of imagine when you think about it a lot). The premise of this TV Movie is simply this pilot is a collection of three stand alone adaptations of three short love stories from three prolific writers.

His earnest talk of love is sincere and heartwarming, but sadly Harrison doesn’t burst into song (yet you think he will – especially if you saw him in My Fair Lady (1964) recently). He compares love to “trying to touch a rainbow” and then ponders on love’s meaning.

As Harrison talks wistfully about love he calls it “a terrible enigma” and then explains that the stories will describe “the pursuits of the human heart”.  The former description sounding like a description of an Alain Delon character and the latter is like a title for a 1970s coming of age Sylvia Kristel movie. Then we journey into those stories of these “three faces of love” as Harrison stands next to the relevant prop…

 

Epicac was originally written by Kurt Vonnegut Jr (Directed by John Badham)…

As this is introduced by Harrison, we (finally) identify the face of a computer in the prop that looks more like a building, positioned next to the actor. Then Harrison warbles on how computers can help you get a girlfriend.

This story Epicac – is not about a bowel medication as Darlin Husband thought – you will find it spookily prescient in today’s Chat GPT. Eerily, this adaptation is set in the then future of 1979.

The story begins after we see – and Harrison describes – the biggest bad boy computer for the Defence Forces you’ve seen since watching War Games (1983). Then the narrator ominously adds it’s not functioning as well as it should…

William (Bill Bixby), is a nerdy kiss-ass at his work, where he works with this massive computer. He also appears madly in love with his colleague, Patricia (Julie Sommars). One night after he chats her up and fails miserably (again). To be fair he does sound super creepy. She asks him to woo her with poetry like Robert Browning did for his future poet wife, Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

William then asks this work computer for help in getting the girl. After he defines love etc for the computer, the computer writes him some poetry as he requests. William then shares these poems with Patricia claiming they were written by his own fair hand.

The result is that she agrees on a date! Patricia then joins William in a music-free disco. This disco music is heard via headphones and she gets him to dance with her without them. Then on a later date – and several poems later – William confesses all about the true identity of the writer of her poems. She doesn’t believe him and says she will marry him, but only if he writes a poem every year, for their wedding anniversary… what could go wrong?

I was a bit spooked out by the future and now the accurate premise of this tale. These two workers with matching white coats and spectacles, seemed more than a wee bit stereotyped. This was reinforced by the Web Developer look as favoured in that tongue in cheek, Web Developer or Serial Killer quiz found on the internet. Bixby was credible in his role, but I couldn’t understand why he had to kiss ass with everyone including the computer.

I liked the idea of the future date at the music-free disco and was happy when Patricia wisely suggested dancing without the headphones. This is probably a good idea for those couples with completely different musical tastes… like The Carpenters and KISS (as described HERE in a review of Detroit Rock City (1999), albeit in a completely different context).

Serendipitously, this segment’s director, John Badham directed the aforementioned War Games. This film had another (massive) computer owned by the Defence which came with a story with more catastrophic consequences.

Bixby must have convinced the powers that be as a nerdy science man. Watch him in more of the same nerdy character traits with his future roles as The Incredible Hulk (1977-82) and as a stats professor in another book adaptation of Agatha Christie in Murder Is Easy (1982) where he uses stats to find a murderer (and love)…

 

Kiss Me Again, Stranger was originally written by Daphne Du Maurier (Directed by Arnold Laven)…

Despite the stellar cast, this segment was one where I was interested in the writer first. After loving the Du Maurier inspired movies Rebecca (1940) and The Scapegoat (2012), it was again a case of what could go wrong in love, will go wrong.

After reading this story was also adapted to a Suspense (1942-62) episode and then comparing it to this segment, it is quite a different adaptation.

It stars Leonard Nimoy as a… – er Darlin Husband thought Australian, I thought Cockney so you decide – shy Royal Air Forces bloke at the end of World War II. On going to the cinema, he meets an usherette (Juliette Mills). Despite her apparently speaking in rhymes and all about her – and talking to him incessantly during the movie – he falls in love with her. His friends (including Donald Moffat) are happy for him.

However, there are reports on the radio of a serial killer who’s killed RAF guys again and again. As he and this usherette go on a date, they end up in a graveyard. There she talks of those planes that killed her parents… He talks about love and marriage in a way that Darlin Husband mansplained, Vulcans would only understand once every seven years.

Nimoy has an indistinguishable accent and one you can’t stop hearing after seeing the actor who played an emotionless Spock minutes later. One can only assume he learnt this accent watching Mary Poppins (1964). Juliet Mills’ dialogue feels out of time (and place), yet she convinces you as her character who kinda falls for him. However, the greatest flaw in this tale is the lack of suspense in the story as even a monkey could come up with the answer to the whodunnit mystery.

 

The Fortunate Painter was originally written by Somerset Maugham (Directed by Jeannot Szwarc)…

Saving the best of those acting stars – and dare I say performances – til last, is the segment set in Paris (and New York with props and accents to match). This was headed by Lorne Greene – last seen in a clip from Earthquake (1974) and then seen in Quantum Leap (1989-93) – and Agnes Moorehead in her swan song.

A young French woman, Angelique (Jess Walton) is accompanied home by her fiance after a date from hell. Her mother (Agnes Moorehead) is excited as she watches her daughter come home. She believes they’ve got engaged, and tries to wake up Hercule (Lorne Greene), her husband.

On her going downstairs, it turns out their daughter Angelique is now in the company of a penniless American artist, Charlie Simpson (Lawrence P. Casey). He also wants to marry her. Her mother shrieks for the woman’s father, Hercule to join them. Barely awake, Hercule stumbles down the stairs.

Cue a wonderful stereotyped – but how wonderfully! – French-themed performance from her on-screen parents as they debate in front of this loved up couple if this young man is a suitable match for their daughter. Agnes and Greene give their all in their very animated discussion. From her, it’s an empathic Non. From her henpecked husband, it’s an Oui, but this is only in a tête-à-tête with Angelique.

Her father then agrees to see some of this young man’s paintings. After he joins Charlie at his studio, Charlie shows Hercule his work which is basically copies of great artists’ works. Hercule shrugs, tuts – with many zut alors – and sadly doesn’t munch an apple, as he looks at this work in fake awe.

Hercule then puts a deposit down on an artist’s copy that has this artist’s signature. He believes he can sell this painting to a dealer if the young man paints over the artist’s signature and replaces it with his own. He gives Charlie a deposit of 300 francs. Then things get complicated… But will true love prevail in this Bonanza (pun intended) cast in this story?

I adored this performance from Agnes Moorehead. As the formidable mother to this love lorn daughter, she convincingly and credibly performed convincing traits in this versatile role. Despite her scathing of her daughter’s choice of husband, her dramatic shrieking for her husband or even in an implied romantic scene for her character, she made an at times unlikeable character a much loved one.

Agnes added her French accent with gusto, adding some suitable French words into her dialogue. Her delightful performance was reinforced by her character’s body language, motivations and story arc as we later see a softer side to her character. When Moorehead was off-screen, you often heard her still in her role continuing this scene, through some sadly unseen dialogue. She was all the more convincing as Greene complimented her performance as her “French” husband. As Angelique, Jess Walton added to this French ambience extraordinaire.

This TV Movie sadly didn’t inspire audiences or the powers that be that fateful airing night of the first of May, 1974. The TV Movie was tragically aired the day after Agnes Moorehead’s passing. Yet with little information about this TV movie, it’s unclear if this was shown then as a tribute or coincidence.

But maybe, this post – and Agnes’ performance – might just inspire one Seth McFarlane to pay homage to this TV movie. This could be with his Rex Harrison sound-alike from Family Guy (1999-), Stewie Griffin in Rex Harrison’s place. This animated character could be accompanied by live-action clips from this underrated TV Movie. Then in a moment fantastique, many more viewers can appreciate Agnes Moorehead’s French accented tour de force performance in this her final (TV) film farewell.

 

Weeper Rating: 😦 /10

Handsqueeze Rating: 🙂 🙂 🙂🙂 🙂 🙂 /10

Hulk Rating: ‎ ‎ ‎   /10

 

---

Third Agnes Moorehead Blogathon 2024, No 9

This post was added to In The Good Old Days Of Classic Hollywood’s Third Agnes Moorehead Blogathon. Other reviews with this cast include,

• Agnes Moorehead in Night of Terror, Charlotte’s Web and Bewitched.
• Alan Hale Jr. in Magnum PI, The Love Boat, McMillan and Wife and more.
• Bill Bixby is the director of Three on a Date and an actor in Murder is Easy, The Incredible Hulk and more.
•  Jess Walton in The Streets of San Francisco, The Six Million Dollar Man and more.
• Julie Sommars in Diagnosis Murder, Magnum PI, Thriller (British Series) and more.
• Leonard Nimoy in Star Trek, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Man from UNCLE and more
• Lloyd Bochner in Dynasty, The Golden Girls, Hotel and more.
• Lorne Greene in Quantum Leap, Earthquake, Happy Days and more.
• Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady, The Yellow Rolls Royce, Ashanti and more.
• Juliet Mills in Hart to Hart, Hotel, Columbo and more.
• Donald Moffat in The Evening Star, Dallas, The Gift of Love and more.

---