TV AND FILM LISTS… Three Reely Random Royal Biopics

#2010s #AllPosts

 

Di-ing to like these royal biopics…

 

Only one reigns supreme, in these three biopics of some British royals of all sorts.

 

Will and Kate

Wolfe Hall

 

I usually love biography films and books and usually end up reading up on the person concerned for days afterwards and ultimately end up feeling like I almost have stalker-like knowledge. It’s usually a good biopic especially if it has one, Oscar (ever) hopeful, Leonardo DiCaprio in it.

If the biopic is about a historical figure, I grill Darlin Husband by asking him to tell me more as he’s pretty good at history. He also delves into the social history of the time and tells me more about the person concerned. He’s been my font of all knowledge for Scandal (1989), The Aviator (2004) and many more movies and TV series.

And speaking of true historical movies here are three with the good, bad and the ugly when it comes to British Royal biopics… and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you which is which…

 

Diana (2013)…

Diana TRAILER 1 (2013) – Princess Diana Movie HD, Movie Clips: Coming Soon AND PHOTOS © Metrodome distribution

I found the recent Royal biopic film, Diana (2013)  extremely irritating. It tells the story of Great Britain’s – sadly now deceased – Princess Diana’s final two years before her untimely death. It focuses on her loving relationship with a heart surgeon named Hasnet Khan.

As much as I wanted to like Naomi Watts as Diana her face and voice irked me,  I think it didn’t help to have Juliet Stevenson – she played ghost Alan Rickman’s alive girlfriend, Nina in Truly Madly Deeply (1990) – in the cast as Stevenson’s face was more reminiscent of Diana’s.

Perhaps both actresses should have used the Face / Off (1997) machine that Jason Statham’s secret agent character Rick Ford longs for in the comedy Spy (2015). Ms Watts’ wardrobe is amazing and memorable and at times you almost do expect it to be Diana from behind until she turns around. It’s also got the cheesiest romantic montage you’ll ever see.

It is worse than those scenes –  that I confess that I once found endearing – of Cameron Diaz and Jude Law frolicking behind trees in The Holiday (2006). But if you do watch Diana look out for the quips made by the police and the surgeon’s colleagues when Diana and he started dating, as an expat Scot, if true they made Britain great. Diana is only worth seeing if you like biographies, particularly those written by potential Mills and Boon authors.

 

William & Kate: The Movie (2011)…

William and Kate: The Movie official trailer, The Royal Family Channel AND PHOTOS © Lifetime.

Diana however is much better than the truly awful William & Kate: The Movie (2011) TV movie. This was one of two TV Movies made to cash in a tie-in with the heir to the throne Prince Charles’s son William’s then-impending wedding to Catherine Middleton. This Royal biopic didn’t have anyone particularly famous in it apart from one actor I vaguely recognised from TV’s Aussie soap, Neighbours (1985-).

The film becomes more like an Asylum Production Royal Biography film as the plot continues. Not content with the soap star, British National Treasure Kristin Scott Thomas’s younger sister Serena stars in it as Kate’s mum Carole.

The best thing about the movie was the Scottish-based scenes, with the remaining chunk of the film being filmed in Los Angeles. William and Kate: The Movie was more of a Fife Tourist Information Film about places to go in St Andrews. This wee Scottish town is now more famous as being the town where these particular Royals courted than its previous low-key claim as being where more famous golf tournaments are played.

Having been there recently on a trip home, it seems every shop has its own claim to fame that William and Kate had been there. Placards announce this fact everywhere from coffee shops to fish and chip shops. Luckily this helps the tourist industry even the smaller Scottish Town of Falkland, also in Fife, is the centre of attention as the Outlander (2014) fans headed by the more predatory Jamie groupies have invaded.

 

Wolf Hall (2015)…

Wolf Hall: Trailer – BBC Two, BBC AND PHOTOS © BBC Worldwide.

In contrast to those bad and ugly ones respectively, the excellent Wolf Hall (2015), has Claire Foy as Anne Boleyn. Natural redhead Damian Lewis as Henry VIII and this series was wonderful, well written and much more believable. Having a natural redhead like Henry seems to be the key, as I still have fond memories of watching the film, Henry VIII and His Six Wives (1972) where Keith Michell played him. And no Bond Girl Solitaire, Jane Seymour didn’t play Henry’s third wife Jane Seymour. But she did take her stage name from her.

Wolf Hall starred Liam Neeson’s character Daniel’s kid Sam, from Love Actually (2003). Although 12 years older he could still look 13 if you gave him helium and got him to walk around on his knees. Just in case there is a sequel in the offing. More credible and less distracting from the plot, was Mark Rylance as Thomas Cromwell, who I always feel looks like what I imagine a Tudor to look like. This after reading tons of books on this historical period as a kid.

I also believed this “theory” after seeing him in The Other Boleyn Girl (2008). In this movie, he plays Anne and Mary Boleyn’s father Thomas Boleyn with Kristin Scott Thomas – Serena’s more famous sister – as their mother. Ironically this particular Scott Thomas ruined this film for me because I kept seeing her as her character Fiona in Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994).

In The Other Boleyn Girl cast members were more photogenic than their historical predecessors, such as Natalie Portman as Anne Boleyn, Scarlett Johansson as her sister Mary and Henry VIII as rom-com favourite, Eric Bana. Or as most men call him Lucky Eric. So to conclude, do as I do if you are watching a Royal biography film or TV series, take it with a huge pinch of salt as it could be a right Royal catastrophe.

 

---

The Royalty on Film Blogathon 2016, No 5

This review was submitted to the Royalty on Film Blogathon. Other reviews with this cast include,

• Juliet Stevenson in Truly, Madly, Deeply.
• Eric Bana in Special Correspondents and The Time Traveler’s Wife. 
• Claire Foy stars in The Crown.
• Damian Lewis in Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood and Your Highness.
  

---